Once it became clear that Tiger suffered only superficial injuries in his now famous car crash, the jokes began to pour in. Here are a few of the funniest Woods gags we’ve come across so far:
New Gillette Advert! Tiger Woods appears and says “Wow, that was a close shave!”
So, Tiger Woods had a car accident? Well, maybe he should have used a driver.
It’s not often that Tiger Woods starts out with a bad drive, hits a water hazard, and ends up in the trees.
Tiger Woods has hit a fire hydrant and then a tree. Big deal, I do that every time I play golf.
Isn’t Tigers’ Caddy supposed to keep him out of the trees?
It’s the first time Tiger’s driven less then 250 yards.
I’m going to start playing Tiger Woods PGA tour on the Wii – with the steering wheel.
Tiger Woods always did have trouble keeping his drives straight.
Tiger Woods has crashed his car into a tree. Police say he’s not seriously hurt, just feelin a bit under par.
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
When the going gets tough, and you just can’t seem to put your tee shot in the fairway, just remember that sometimes, even Tiger has a bad drive.
I went up to my golf club yesterday for a lesson and the golf pro asked what I wanted. I said I want to drive like Tiger Woods. The bugger then drove my car into a tree and charged me £25!
Headline from a UK newspaper: “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant”
Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger’s wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.
The Betinternet.com Daily Sports Betting Preview for Monday, 30 November 2009:
Football: The week starts rather quietly as far as football action is concerned, with only a few games later on. Czech Rep Premier League at 16:30 GMT starts proceedings, followed by Danish SAS Ligaen, German Bundesliga 2 and Italian Serie B. The evening brings one game in the Football League Championship, Portuguese Superliga and Argentina Primera.
Live Betting today for:
20:00 GMT: Football League Championship, Blackpool v Preston
20:15 GMT: Portuguese Superliga, Sporting Braga v Uniao Leiria
US Sports: It’s New England @ New Orleans for NFL Monday, starting at 01:35 GMT, while in the NBA there are four, and in the NHL there are eight games taking place.
Horse Racing: Today sees meetings at Fakenham, Folkestone and Wolverhampton.
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The Betinternet.com Daily Sports Betting Preview for Sunday, 29 November 2009:
Football: A packed sunday ahead, with plenty of opportunities to bet on the beautiful game. Things start with Australian A-League, Spanish Segunda, Dutch Eredivisie & Turkish Super Lig before lunchtime and continue with English Premier League, Italian Serie A and Spanish La Liga in the afternoon, to name but a few. The day once again comes to a close with Argentina Primera, when Tigre take on Velez Sarsfield at 22:10 GMT.
Live Betting today for (all times GMT):
12:00 English Premier League, Wolves v Birmingham
13:30 English Premier League, Everton v Liverpool
14:00 Italian Serie A, Cagliari v Juventus
14:00 Italian Serie A, Inter v Fiorentina
14:30 German Bundesliga, Leverkusen v Stuttgart
16:00 English Premier League, Arsenal v Chelsea
16:00 Spanish La Liga, Santander v La Coruna
16:30 German Bundesliga, Hannover v Bayern Munich
18:00 Spanish La Liga, Barcelona v Real Madrid
19:45 Italian Serie A, Catania v Milan
20:00 Spanish La Liga, Atl.Madrid v Espanyol
Horse Racing: Meetings today at Carlisle, Fairyhouse, Kempton and Leicester. First race at 12:30 GMT.
US Sports: It’s Sunday, and that means more NFL action from Week 12. Most games are starting at 18:00 GMT, with Jacksonville @ San Francisco and Kansas @ San Diego kicking off at 21:05 GMT. Next to the gridiron action, there are also ten NBA games (from 18:05 GMT) and two NHL games (earliest at 01:05 GMT). Last but not least, there’s also Saskatchewan v Montreal in the CFL Playoffs at 23:30 GMT.
Tennis: It’s the ATP World Tour Final today: Nikolay Davydenko v Juan Martin Del Potro at 14:30 GMT
Snooker: The Premier League Final takes place tonight, when Ronnie O’Sullivan takes on Shaun Murphy at 19:40 GMT.
Basketball: One French Pro A, two german Bundesliga, four Greek A1, five Italian Lega and seven Spanish ACB games taking place today.
Handball: Two German Bundesliga and one Spanish Asobal game to bet on today.
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Good Luck with all your Bets!
According to TMZ, there may have been more to the Tiger Woods car crash story than previously reported:
Multiple law enforcement sources tell TMZ Tiger Woods‘ early morning accident came right after an argument with his wife, Elin Nordegren.
We’re told Elin told cops about the argument at the scene of the accident and Tiger gave the same story to authorities at the hospital where he was treated.
One Florida law enforcement official called it “a domestic issue.”
Elin apparently was able to forgive and forget — according to Windermere Police Chief Daniel Saylor, Nordegren smashed out the back window of Tiger’s car to help get him out.
A local police chief admitting to a domestic dispute between Woods and his wife, a golf club-to-the-car-window story and probably more to come. This looks like a developing sports celebrity drama.